Cover photo: The two of us on Easter Sunday.
HELP MY UNBELIEF
ft. John Kaste
I’m mourning,
Still stuck inside these bedroom walls
I lie here,
Alone, just trying to hold on
What did I do to deserve this, Lord?
Have you forgotten all this hurt?
How long do I have to wait for a miracle?
And the oil of your grace
Is your hand on my face
Your fragrance fills this room
I’m finally with you
Healed and made whole
I dwell in you
It’s morning,
You’re coming out to meet me here
I’m longing
For just one touch and I’ll be healed
From the edge you bring me back to life
Bring me back from the darkness into light
I know I don’t have to wait for a miracle
I believe; help my unbelief
I believe; help my unbelief
Are you suffering? Pray
To be sick is to be saved
Open up the doors today
They will sing a song of praise
The sacrament of anointing of the sick, administered by a Catholic priest to those suffering from serious illness, enacts spiritual and—if it be God’s will—physical healing for the afflicted. “Help My Unbelief” is an acoustic ballad written in common time at 65 bpm in E Major, the same key as baptism’s “Falls Like Rain,” signifying a return to the ultimate start of healing. The two of us wanted this lullaby-like song to sound raw and stripped back, gently flowing like golden oil in the back and forth movement of the fingerpicking guitar line.
Originally titled "Anointing," the song was renamed to “Help My Unbelief” near the end of the recording process to pay homage to a scrapped interlude written about Jesus’ healing of a boy possessed in Mark 9 (shown in the lyrics here). The new title more aptly solidifies our intentional musical sketch of anointing as a sacrament of spiritual healing: Jesus acts ultimately as healer of our faith more than any sickness or ailment. This song is one of the most complex and theologically rich out of the album, and one of our personal favorites.
- Inspired by the biblical story of four friends lowering a man into a house where Jesus was present, we decided to musically imagine the beginning of this sacrament taking place in a bedroom, where sickness often occurs. The acoustic guitar opens the song in a natural, fingerpicking style, resembling a simple lullaby. Thomas opens the first verse with lyrics that are easy-to-sing but not easy-to-digest. Aside from its physical burdens, the debilitating spiritual consequence of illness is its propensity to physically isolate Christian members from their body of Christ—it pushes us to the edge of our relationships with others, God, and ourselves.
- The first line of the chorus paints a portrait of the enactment of the sacrament through its spoken form and respective matter (the oil of your grace is your hand on my face). Text painting is utilized to image the raising up of the sick person in the ascending melody of the oil of your grace; the text musically returns down to earth at your hand on my face, symbolizing the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the one being anointed. The spoken words describe the anointing Rite itself: a laying on of hands with blessed oil. Divine grace seeps into one’s skin—God is not only face-to-face but dwells in, with, and for the one being anointed. The spiritual senses are evoked as “your fragrance fills this room,” enriching the embodied nature of the sacrament of anointing in particular.
- "Help My Unbelief" is rich with Biblical allusions to miracles of healing. Where do you notice them?
What part of "Help My Unbelief" is most beautiful to you? Why?
